April 24, 2017

The Blade Master – Generally Jolly Movie Reviews

Jolly’s Night at the Movies: The Blade Master

Oh man, what to say about The Blade Master? It is boring? it looks weird? I really wish that the main character would put a shirt on? Yes to all of these things, and more. lets review!


About The Blade Master

The Blade Master is a 1984 English-language Italian-made movie starring American Miles O’keeffe as the muscle-bound Ator. It’s a fantasy-adventure film, and technically a sequel to an earlier film, the aptly named Ator. But don’t worry, you don’t need to watch Ator in order to enjoy The Blade Master, because it doesn’t really act like a sequel at all. Let’s be honest, you won’t want to watch Blade Master if you watch Ator first, so just skip to the 2nd (and better) of the two.

I’ll just cut straight to the chase: The Blade master is boring. More than anything else, its hokey action, silly synth fantasy music and wooden acting make it boring. Its not the worst movie ever, and it is relativly innocent, but that doesn’t mean much. If you like hunky men pretending to kill extras dressed like Mongolians, then go for it. For everyone else looking for a good fantasy epic, just rewatch the Lord of the Rings

Ator being shirtless and whatnot
Ator literally NEVER puts on a shirt. Not once.

The Plot

Do we really need to go over the plot of The Blade Master? No, but I will anyways. The evil, mustachioed Zor invades the lands of King Generic-White-Man, who has somehow harnessed nuclear energy (in medieval time, no less) to make…something. Zor wants to use this…thing to subjugate all life to his will. The king’s daughter escapes, and travels to the ends of the earth to find and get help from Ator. The hero and his silent Asian manservant go with her to stop the evil Zor. Pretty standard stuff, and there aren’t any surprises. But we didn’t come for the plot. No, we came for the action and the beautifully muscled Ator.

The Blade Master's principle cast
The principal cast

The Actual Movie

As I might have mentioned before, The Blade Master is boring, poorly acted and made on a budget of approximately $18. But it isn’t bad in the way Troll 2 or Birdemic is bad. It is more bland and forgettable than anything. I harbor no ill will for this movie; it isn’t aggressively awful. It just really, really isn’t good. I guess if you really enjoyed Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan, than give this movie a try. I give The Blade Master 3 out of 10. But if you really want to watch it, you can probably just find it on youtube.

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